Ian Hamby was a very unhappy camper. His math teacher sent him to the principal's office for the unspeakable crime of farting in the classroom. Ian was only ten years old and already he was developing an allergy to control freaks, like his math teacher. Miss. Lemmon. Fortunately for Ian, the principal was in a staff meeting and could not administer swift justice, so he was ordered to come back and see him after the meeting. Ian was allowed to go back to class, but the secretary told him to be present at Mr. Hunter's office at exactly 1 PM sharp.

"He better not have to go looking for you!" she yelled at him on his way out the door.

Ian was able to eat lunch in the cafeteria with his amigos, but he knew his freedom would be short-lived. His pals thought he was brilliant for farting, Ian didn't even realize he had done it until everyone started laughing. Miss Lemmon could have just laughed it off like everyone else, but then, she would have lost what little control she had over the class and that was simply: verboten.

At five till one, he made his way downstairs. The office had already called his teacher and appraised her of the situation. Ian wasn't generally known as a behavioral problem, but he had been in the old principal's office more than once for his obtuse behavior. Ian didn't really think about anything, he just did it……much like everyone else around him, only his idea of acceptable behavior included taking off his pants in class and waving them around. He was the class clown, anything for a laugh. He had no real pride, ergo, he had no real shame.

Those fire alarms were practically teasing him, begging to be pulled.

He walked into the principal's office, with three other flunkies. Two he immediately recognized, one he did not. He sat down next to Matt. He was two years older but had been in the same scout pack as one another.

"Hey, Matt."

"What's up, little man?"

"I got to go talk to Mr. Hunter. I farted in class."

"I fart in class all the time."

"Yeah, but mine was really loud and stinky. Miss Lemmon wasn't amused."

"She's a bitch." said Matt.

"That's enough talking boys. Mr. Hunter will be with you shortly." shouted one of the old hens from behind the counter.

"Paul……what you in for?" whispered Matt.

"I punched somebody."

"Did he punch back?"

"No, but his friends did. Got into a big old fight, but somehow, I'm the only one who gets sent to the principal's office. Said Paul.

"Man, this Mr. Hunter is weird. I miss Mr. Walsh, our last principal. He was more the talk-it-out type. I hear this guy is a real dick."

"Man, it's hot outside. I hope we don't have to walk home," said Ian.

"Yeah, I know. I bet he makes us take the short bus home. That just seems like something he would do." said Matt in his low voice.

"Who's he?" asked Ian, looking at the third stooge.

"Don't know his name. He was trying to kiss a bunch of girls at recess. That kind of thing is probably okay where he's from, but that ain't gonna fly here in America. He's got to learn the rules."

"Where's he from?" asked Ian

Matt just shrugged his shoulders.

"Someplace where they don't speak English."

The office door opened and Mr. Hunter came strolling in. He stopped and looked at the four boys. The new kid was first, then Paul, then Matt, and finally Ian. Mr. Hunter said nothing as he opened the door to his office. Ian heard him sit down at his desk and move some papers around. This went on for several minutes. It also sounded like he was moving furniture or some kind of machinery. He was making all kinds of noise, but no one could see what he was doing.

"The hell is he doing?" asked Matt.

The silence outside in the hallway was finally broken by a loud, bellowing, almost thunderous:

"NEXT IN LINE, GET IN HERE," said Mr. Hunter.

The three of them looked at the new kid and Paul almost pushed him out of his seat and into his office.

"CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU." Said Mr. Hunter.

"Is he always like this?" asked Ian.

"Don't know, this is my first rodeo with him. I just heard he's a dick."

Ian waited as the minutes passed. He looked at his watch. The new kid had been in there for exactly eight minutes and six seconds. Ian liked to keep track of how long things take. It takes him exactly twenty-eight minutes to get to school. Six minutes to eat his lunch and one minute and thirty-four seconds to go to the bathroom. He figured at someplace or some moment in his life, that information would be useful.

At exactly minute eight, he heard something like a thud in Mr. Hunter's office. He looked over at Matt who must not have heard it. This was followed eighteen seconds later by what can only be described as a loud, very blood-curdling scream coming from the office. Matt and Paul both heard it. There was no mistaking it. The new kid had let out a scream that should have been heard halfway around the block, but it seems none of the secretaries sitting thirty feet away heard anything.

"What the hell was that?" asked Paul.

The three of them looked very uneasily at one another. Finally, Paul got up and put his hand on the doorknob. He looked over at Matt and Ian. Just as he was about to turn the knob, out comes the new kid with Mr. Hunter. He had his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Okay, Rashid. I hope I made my point clear," said Mr. Hunter.

Rashid only nodded and looked over at Matt and Ian. For just a split second, Ian was almost sure he saw blood in his eyes. As if he had been crying for the last two hours. Except he was grinning, from ear to ear……just standing there and grinning, not saying a word.

It was just plain creepy.

The new kid left his office. The three boys looked very nervously at one another. They may only be children, but even a child knows when something is wrong.

"NEXT IN LINE." bellowed Mr. Hunter.

Paul looked nervously at Matt and Ian. The poor kid was scared shitless and with good reason. Something had happened to the new kid in that office. Something unique.

"NEXT IN LINE."

Paul went into the office and closed the door behind him. This time Matt moved closer to the door. He was only a few feet away. He was trying desperately to hear what was going on inside. He glanced over at the office secretaries who were busy doing whatever it is school secretaries do. None of them were looking at the boys.

"Do you hear anything?" whispered Ian

"Shut up!" he whispered back and had his ear to the door.

This time it was only six minutes and twelve seconds before they heard the scream again. Only this time, it wasn't a scream……it was more like a whimper. Like the kind a dog would make when it got caught pissing on the carpet.

Ian had moved closer as well. They could both hear some kind of a commotion going on inside the office. Mr. Hunter was laughing…..almost giggling. Both he and Ian saw it. There was no mistaking it. The knob on the office door turned slightly as if Paul was trying to get out. Poor little Paulie was in there, fighting for his life.

They saw Paul's finger emerge from underneath the door. A second later, they were yanked back, almost like someone had just pulled him away from the door. He and Matt were now petrified. Ian was almost shaking he was so scared. There was more commotion. They both clearly heard a muffled scream, then nothing. No more noise, no more screaming, nothing. Just a very, very uncomfortable silence. Matt quickly moved away from the door. The door swung open as Paul and Mr. Hunter walked out together. He looked up at Mr. Hunter who said nothing and patted him on the back. Mr. Hunter went back into his office. Paul turned to leave but, Matt grabbed him and pulled him close.

"What happened in there?" asked Matt.

"Mr. Hunter made me see the error of my ways. He'll do the same to you……make a whole new man out of you," said Paul winking. He broke free and walked out of the office.

Ian and Matt looked at one another. They were in deep now. Matt looked right at Ian.

"I'm out of here," he said and walked quickly out of the principal's office.

Ian just froze. In his ten-year-old mind, he surmised that if he stood perfectly still, perhaps Mr. Hunter might mistake him for a desk. Ian was shaking now. He didn't want to go into that office. Not under any circumstances. Whatever was going on in there was weird……..and to a ten-year-old weird was never good.

Mr. Hunter came out of his office a minute later. He walked right past Ian without saying a word. He seemed to be temporarily distracted. He went over to the secretaries desk and they both began looking over a stack of papers. A minute later he walked back towards Ian, who was sitting perfectly still, with his hands folded on the desk.

"Wait…..there were four of you earlier. Where did the older kid go?" he asked sternly.

Ian just shrugged his shoulders.

"I think he left," he said meekly.

"He left? Who told him he could leave?"

Jordan just shrugged his shoulders and continued to stare off into space.

"Wait here," he said and stormed out of the office.

Ian waited until he was gone. He got up and looked inside the principal's office for something….anything that might help explain what went on in there. He did notice a very large, very scary-looking ruler sitting on top of his desk. Maybe Mr. Hunter was going to whoop them with his ruler? Can he even do that nowadays? He was the principal, not his parents. He walked back to his chair and sat down. He wanted to just run out of there as well. Matt might have had the right idea. He also knew he would only be making things worse for himself if he did. He looked up at the clock. He had been in the principal's office for almost twenty minutes. He just had to stretch this thing out for an hour and he was home free. Maybe Matt just ditched school? That would make sense. Maybe Mr. Hunter would spend the next hour just looking for Matt. That would be perfectly fine with Ian.

Ten minutes went by, then twenty. It was now almost two o'clock. He was almost there, he just had to make it another half an hour.

Maybe he was just overreacting. Maybe nothing happened in that office. Maybe he and Matt had panicked for nothing. He looked up and saw Matt walking in front of Mr. Hunter with another student. They both sat down next to Ian. He could tell by the looks on their faces that they were both in deep trouble. Mr. Hunter walked over to the secretaries.

"Where'd you go?"

"Cafeteria. I was hungry. One of the lunch ladies ratted me out. This dude is just weird. He told me he is a minister in his church. Laid the whole Jesus thing on me, pretty thick. I just nodded and told him I was sorry. I don't think he bought it."

"What about the other kid?"

"He was trying to steal from one of the vending machines as we walked by. Dumb ass literally had his hand up there trying to get out a candy bar. He told us the machine stole his money, so Mr. Hunter is going to check the camera. I don't think he put any money in that machine at all." said Matt trying not to sound scared.

"I don't want to go in there. What if we both go in there at once. Two has got to be better than one." said Ian.

"Yeah…..maybe. I guess we'll both go in when he calls one of us. It's almost time for school to let out. He might want to get this done as quickly as possible."

Mr. Hunter walked back to where they were sitting. He looked at Matt and then looked at Ian. He then did something that they both found very peculiar. He put his finger over his lips as if to indicate he wanted them to be quiet…..or maybe it meant something else.

He turned and stood in front of the other kid.

"So, how much money did you put in the machine?" he asked

"Like a dollar?"

"Was it a dollar bill?"

"Yes."

"So, you put one dollar in the machine and it did not give you your candy bar, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"You're sure you put a dollar bill in there?"

"Positive." said the kid defiantly.

"Well, we have a bit of a problem here. See, I have two emails from staff telling me that the machines are full and won't take any more dollar bills. So, I'm going to walk over there and try it out myself. If it takes my dollar bill and doesn't give me my candy, you're home free. If it doesn't then we have a problem?"

"It's just a candy bar, who cares?" said the kid.

"Oh, no son. It's not about the candy bar, it's about being honest. I hate liars. They don't belong in our society. You're not a liar, are you?" asked Mr. Hunter.

"No."

"Okay then, I'll be back."

Just as he was turning to leave. The kid stood up.

"I didn't put any money in the machine. I was trying to get some candy for free," he said 

"You mean you were stealing the candy?"

"I guess."

Ian could see the look on Mr. Hunter's face had changed. That look terrified him. Mr. Hunter just stared at the boy for a few seconds. No one in the room said a word. He could almost see the anger swirling around Mr. Hunter's head.

"Step into my office, if you would, please," he said and pointed.

The kid looked at Matt and Ian for some kind of guidance. Matt just motioned towards the office. Ian said nothing and looked away. The kid walked slowly into Mr. Hunter's office. Mr. Hunter followed and closed the door behind him.

"Man, that was painful to watch. Mr. Hunter totally schooled him. I knew he didn't put no damn money in that machine." said Matt.

"Looks like Mr. Hunter did also."

"That kid is always getting caught. You can't be breaking the rules if you're gonna get caught. Mr. Hunter's gonna whoop that ass."

It was quiet for a few minutes. Matt and Ian could hear the two of them talking. Ian wasn't close enough to hear what they were saying. It sounded pretty heated.

"That kid should just get himself a lawyer," said Matt.

Ian looked up at the clock. They only had fifteen minutes left. He knew they could not keep him any longer than 2:30. Not even one second. Once that bell rang, he was home free……until the next day. Maybe Miss. Lemon would just forget about the whole thing. Would Mr. Hunter? Would this nightmare be over in just fifteen minutes?

It happened so quickly, neither of them was sure it did. It sounded like some kind of a scream. Not a loud scream, but too loud to be anything else. Like it had taken the kid by surprise. It was accompanied by a quick flash of light a moment later. Both Ian and Matt were mesmerized by what they had just seen. They looked at one another, neither of them certain what to do or say.

Stuff like this can't be happening. There has got to be a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this.

"Did you see that Ian?" asked Matt

"Yeah."

"What was that?"

"Maybe he just turned some lights on?"

"Maybe……man, I really don't want to go in there. I really, really don't."

"Me neither."

"We got ten minutes left. Just ten minutes, then we're home free," said Matt.

The door opened and the kid walked out. Both Ian and Matt looked him over carefully. He seemed perfectly fine. He didn't say anything to them as he walked by. 

They both knew it was coming. It was loud and thunderous.

"NEXT IN LINE!"

Matt and Ian both looked at one another frantically. They had a very important decision to make.

Divided we fall.

They both got up and walked into the principal's office. Mr. Hunter looked up from his desk.

"One at a time. Matthew, close the door and have a seat."

Matt was trembling as he looked at Ian. He'll never forget the look on Matt's face.

Pure unadulterated horror.

Matt knew something was wrong with Mr. Hunter and this office. 

"I don't have all day here Matthew," he said

Matt closed the door behind him.

Ian sat back down. He had only five minutes left. Maybe somehow Matt could delay the inevitable for a while until the bell rang. Matt would just have to sacrifice himself to save Ian. Matt would do that for him……..right?

Ian edged closer to the door. He had to know what was being said. He could hear Matthew speaking, he just couldn't hear exactly what was said. He could hear Matthew getting more and more nervous with each passing question……and more desperate. Ian looked up at the clock. He was down to just four minutes.

He thought he might just tell Mr. Hunter he had to leave early, so his mom could pick him up. What the hell were four minutes? Maybe nothing……maybe everything.

Ian was only a few feet from the door when he heard it. It was unmistakable.

"What the hell are you doing?" he screamed.

That was enough for Ian. He had to save himself. Matthew was just going to have to be an acceptable casualty. He walked right up to the secretary. She didn't even acknowledge him when he stood in front of her desk.

Jesus lady, we got a code red here.

"Can I help you, Mr. Hamby?"

"I don't want to go in that office with him."

"With Mr. Hunter? Why not?"

"There's some weird stuff going on in there. I don't want no part of it."

"What weird stuff?"

"You guys don't hear or see anything out of the ordinary whenever he brings someone in and closes the door?"

"No."

"Okay……well, it's time to go, we'll have to do this tomorrow morning. I guess I'll be on my way. Don't want to miss the bus."

"You may leave the bell rings and not one second before," she said still not looking up at him.

Ian walked back to his desk. T-minus two minutes and counting. As he was walking by, he saw the light again. There was no mistaking it. It was very bright.

Like a star had just exploded in his office.

He was now down to just one minute. He had never been so happy to get out of school before in his life.

The office door opened and Matt walked out. Mr. Hunter went over to the secretary. Ian grabbed him as he walked by.

"What happened in there? What is that light?"

Matt looked at him. Ian could see this was not the same Matt that had gone into his office only a few minutes before. He looked different. Same face, but someone different inside.

"Sinners are the poison of humanity," he said and smiled as he walked out of the office.

The hands on the clock were so close now. Only mere seconds away from his freedom. Mr. Hunter came back into the hallway.

"Mr. Hamby?"

"Yes sir?"

"I trust you will exercise better control over your bodily functions from now on?"

"Yes sir, I sure will."

"Good……you're not like the other boys. There might actually be some hope for you after all."

"Yes sir."

He could see that Mr. Hunter wasn't quite sure about what to do with him. The bell rang and broke the awkward silence between them.

"Saved by the bell. Better hurry and get to your bus. I don't want to see you back in this office ever again…..am I clear?"

"Yes sir. Very clear."

"Good, be on your way then," he said and walked back into his office. Ian left the office quickly and never looked back. He got on his bus and was still shaking from what he had seen. He knew he had just dodged a bullet.

He would see Matt and the other kids from time to time. Matt seemed to be a completely different person. Gone was the old, obnoxious Matt and his place was someone else. Someone who went to church regularly and started a prayer club in school. His transformation was downright remarkable.

 

Ian never did get sent to the principal's office again…..or ever. He left the school a few months later when his father got a new job upstate. His new principal was much cooler than Mr. Hunter. 

He never did find out what happened in that office, if anything. He just knew he was never going to be sent to the principal's office again…..not ever. He did not want to see that weird light again. That was reason enough to stay on the straight and narrow.